Hard Reality


Last night, I curled my hair, spent far too much time on my makeup, and we were beyond fucking sloowww. I think I walked out with less than 50 dollars, whether it’s a great night or mediocre, I ALWAYS count my money and sometimes even figure my hourly wage. I didn’t even count my money because I don’t like to get discouraged. That bad.

All of that aside, most of my favorite people were working.  One of my favorites is a girl named…let’s call her Lucy, Lucy doesn’t drink and her marriage is too much for one person to understand fully. In short, she cheated on her husband so he cheated on her and she was pissed so she cheated on him again.  He also likes to do some shady shit when he’s drunk (very shady, I just don’t want to get too personal).  Lucy was pissed on something he said about her head sucking (ha.) so she asked me what she should do; I think I gave her a reasonable answer. I told her that I’m not married so I’m not going to act like I know anything, but they should have crazy intense sex and praise each other after for what amazing things their bodies can do to one another. No. Her best idea was to fuck someone else and ask them if she’s any good.  I thought that was the end of the conversation for the night. No.  I got all the details. That’s how I’m going to leave it considering anyone can read this shit.

It’s uncanny some things I hear girls say in the dressing room, everyone is close with someone on hard drugs.  Not just that, but when they talk about it, other girls will jump in on the conversation and say things like “Yeah, some guy I was talking to does that shit (crack, etc.) too, he’s always fucking high when I stop by” in the most nonchalant way.  When I started dancing, I expected drama and drugs to be a pretty common topic of conversation.  It hasn’t been this bad in a while though; yeah, every now and then we’ll get a new girl who steals some shit or is obviously high out of their mind, but even with the (to my ignorant knowledge) clean house girls, talk of overdoses and gossip about who’s sucking/ fucking is everywhere all the time.  It’s become a part of my daily life.

On another note, the city I work in isn’t getting any better as a whole.  I was on the News app on my phone and two stories that I think will stick with me for a while read something like “Man who folded woman at a bar was kicked out, punched woman fatally” and “Man pushes niece out of wheelchair into ocean (?) over MISSING CIGARETTES”.  I don’t know how long I will stay where I am, for now I’m just going to avoid stray bullets and make as much money as I can.



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