Fell Off

I haven’t written in too long. The cold weather in Ohio puts me in a certain mood.  My creative side gets shut down even though I’m spending most of my time inside (whether it be in a bar, work, or my apartment).  I have, however been working more than usual and making bank when I do, for this I credit my forced happy-go-lucky facade.

In the past, I’ve been my real self at work; insecure and grumpy.  I’ve learned that it’s not that difficult to put on a smile and ask about things I have virtually no interest in.  Men are strange creatures.  It’s 100% worth it to put in the extra work both physically and emotionally, “fake it ’till you make it” was something I’ve always preached but never really practiced.  Everyone loves talking about themselves, so if I can provide that outlet I can truly have a symbiotic relationship with my customers. I’m not sure when “divorce season” is, but I have a feeling it’s in the fall because that subject has topped the charts for a while.  I still blank sometimes on what to ask or say to my customers but I don’t think it’s completely my fault. Even being the outgoing, giggly and lewd Jane, I will undoubtedly run into one customer a night who refuses to let me brighten their day. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with this hypothetical individual, so I walk away hopeful for a rich man to fall in love with me.

So, in short, I’ve had a lucrative and enjoyable month. I’ll be posting more blogs soon as I am forcing myself to stay connected.  Thank you all, xoxoxo.

 

-jane.

Artistic Struggle

I’ve been thinking of new things to put on paper but I forget everything. I just moved to Ohio which has been causing stress and my depression is coming back in waves. I want to create but I don’t feel motivated or 100% in my own mind. I put one day aside to draw and something happened. Still not content with that aspect of my life. Is that what being an artist is?