Artistic Struggle

I’ve been thinking of new things to put on paper but I forget everything. I just moved to Ohio which has been causing stress and my depression is coming back in waves. I want to create but I don’t feel motivated or 100% in my own mind. I put one day aside to draw and something happened. Still not content with that aspect of my life. Is that what being an artist is?

New Club/ Treat Yourself

I did end up going to a new club in my area on Thursday because of the situation(s) at my home club.  Like I said, I expected it to be nerve-wracking and I really didn’t think any of the girls would be nice to me.  I had this is my head because of the places I have travelled to and how I’ve been treated.  First off, the management at this new place fucking hates the owner of my home club so I think they were just happy to steal me.

I’ve always known that your attitude toward the girls plays a huge role in how you’re going to do in a new environment.  I’ve never seen such black-and-white reactions though; when I was smiling and being personable, the girls actually seemed like they at least gave a shit enough to answer compared to how I am when Im nervous and shy.  That helped tremendously.

I ended up meeting girls who’ve worked with me before at other clubs, which usually plays in everyone’s favor… unless that girl never liked you and was fired from your home club. I got a taste of both.

 

TREAT YO’SELF:

Last night, my sister was leaving for the night and I decided to take a break and rest my body.  I didn’t want to just sit around my house, so I looked up  “sushi restaurants near me”, put on some makeup and put on some clothes that I’ve wanted to wear for a while but have no real reason to, and drove my happy ass to get some sushi.  Since I was alone and the place was pretty busy, they had me move over a seat at the sushi bar. I didn’t get angry or anything, actually the couple ended up being really friendly and down to Earth. They even let me try their curry (which was delicious but I was stuffed after a huge meal and dessert).  After a few glasses of wine, I decided that my evening was n’t over. I ended up going to the movie theater alone and watching Boss Baby.  It was fucking adorable, literally babies competing with puppies.

It was a great night. I’ll wrap that up with a word of advice: go to a restaurant in some cute clothes (or whatever you would consider a date), drink some wine, maybe see a movie, go home and masturbate. You will not be disappointed.

 

~shiva